Happy Father's Day

 A young college girl came up to me last Sunday. She said she was going out of town next week and couldn't work in the children's area. I said, "Going home for Father's Day?" She said yes, but I knew that look all to well. I had felt every facial expression when I was a young person that she was now giving. She flashed her kind eyes with a slight pause and a half turned smile, and I knew. I asked, "Are your parents still married?" She said no. We talked about our MIA dads. A bit later in the conversation I told her I thought it was wonderful that she was going home to be with her mom. I joked and told her when Father's Day rolled around I had to find cards for my dad the equivalent of "because you're breathing"... "because you didn't buy my prom dress"... She laughed, and said it was very similar to her circumstance.

Truth be told even though my dad was MIA at times,I had a great mom and amazing grandparents that lived in the same town. They loved the Lord and taught me many things. I think grandpa's greatest gift was love. He loved the Lord, he loved his wife, and loved his family. That love set a great example, and that love is what I sought to find in the man I would marry.

As amazing as grandpa was, there was another Father in my life. It was of course God our Father. At 8 years old I asked Christ to come into my heart. As I read the Bible I could see God's fatherly advice emerging. Proverbs with it's wise words. Galatians with a list of what folks will see when God is in your life (fruit of the spirit). So many things he has to tell us, and the greatest? Perhaps at that time, and still today, that He will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5-6).

My dad died of cancer nineteen and a half years ago. It was a half a year before I married. For the last three months of his life I drove 450 miles almost every weekend to visit my dad in the VA Hospital. I wanted to make sure he knew how much God loved him and that God had a place waiting for him. My dad did come to know Christ as his savior. My earthly dad's greatest gift to me was a look of peace I had never seen on his face until that day.

Father's Day can be tricky for some. Now, my children and I lavish Randy (my husband) with love on that day. We also send love to my mom for being one of those amazing parents who were both mom and dad. We show love to Randy's dad. The gift of love is realized more since Randy's brother passed away; also of cancer. One realizes the honor to be together and say, "I love you." And even though we may not be with everyone we love this Father's Day, we have an eternity of days to one day be with them again. Our Father made sure of that.


Joshua 1:9
...Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. (NIV)

Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies (Psalm 36:5).

Love In Action

Well ladies and gentleman. The earth shook, the stars rotated, and Randy and I celebrated another year as husband and wife. We now have 19 years under our belt! There is something about growing older as a couple. Like you have somehow arrived.

Arriving to those 19 years have been filled with every emotion you can think of, and then some. Those 19 years for better or worse have been mostly better and we are not any worse but stronger from the challenges. So below is my gift to you in honor of our anniversary! Through God's love and grace may you laugh today, love your family and grow stronger from what lies ahead. I thank God for my husband and family.

A Good Four Letter Word

I ran into an old friend on Saturday. She is a former co-worker. She's the type of person you love running into and wonder why you don't run into her ON PURPOSE more often! Her name is Kathy and her daughter is married to (cue foreboding music... DUN-DUN- DUUUUUN) a pastor! He is the worst kind I'm afraid. He is a church planter (says the wife of a church planter). :)

Kathy said, "Debbie, I told my daughter your crazy donut lady story (check blog post with similar name), and now I have a story for you!" Kathy then tells me that her son in law had a church member that wanted to meet with him. When the lady arrived she told the pastor that she had been wanting to leave the church. There were several things she didn't like, and there were certain things about his sermons that she didn't care for when he spoke.

At this point in the story I am sure you think she went on her way... not so fast. She told Kathy's son in law that she had- had a change of heart and now felt she should stay because she now realized that she had a ministry at this church. She realized that she had (and I quote) "the spiritual gift of correction." Yes, that is right. The Almighty himself had blessed her with the "gift" of correcting others. By the way, I hope you are not slouching as you read this (just flexing my spiritual correction gift)! It is true, I went to seminary, but I don't claim to know everything. I am pretty sure correcting others toward your comfort zone doesn't  qualify as a spiritual gift. In fact, Christ had something to say about that very topic.

Matthew 7

Judging Others

 ¹ “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ² For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.    ³ “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Now, TD Jakes has a good saying. He says, "Your misery is your ministry." He means, the desire you have to see something done well, inspires you to serve. I think if you can't respect your leadership, and enjoy (for the most part) where you serve, your misery is just that... misery... for everyone. You can never find the good four letter word that is HOPE when you are holding onto the bad.

 Let's hear it for hope! It is one of the top three hits of the "love chapter" (1 Corinthians 13). Faith, HOPE, and Love, and while the greatest of these is love, hope isn't a bad consolation. I think that the other good four letter word, love, is how you get to hope. Love puts you in a Jesus state of mind. Love enables you to find the good and that allows you to find the hope.

What about you? Got any non-spiritual gifts weighing you down? The "gift" of complaining, or the "gift" of worry? Psst, they ain't gifts and they for sure ain't spiritual. Filter your life through God's love and you will find the hope that alludes many in both the good times and the hard times. 

Philippians 4:8 (NIV)
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. 

WARNING! The End of the World is May 21s.... Oh, Never Mind

Perhaps you do not live near I-35 in San Marcos Texas. So you were not aware of the impending doom that was awaiting us this past Saturday. You see, someone had bought a bill board add on the highway that said the end of the world was May 21st. In fact it was to be at 6pm. Now, he wasn't sure if it was going to be six o'clock our time, or six in Jerusalem. 30 plus hours have passed, and it is safe to say he was incorrect. God could end the world as we know it at any moment. I am pretty sure He will wait at least five minutes from any time someone has determined. Which leads us to our verse. This is what Christ said about the day the Lord comes.

The Day and Hour Unknown Matthew 24:36-42

    ³⁶ “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son,^[f] but only the Father. ³⁷ As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. ³⁸ For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; ³⁹ and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. ⁴⁰ Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. ⁴¹ Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.    ⁴² “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come.

I must say, all that end of the world talk made me roll my eyes. Not because I don't think it will happen, but because someone spent all that time trying to determine and then incite others to believe his "findings". There was a positive side effect from this man's bill board. It made folks in San Marcos talk about the end of the world. College folks at my church did not like the bill board which led them to post verses like the above on their facebook page. It caused discussion about the end of the world as we know it. The check out lady at my grocery store brought it up. Her's was more of a nervous laugh. Everywhere I have gone the past week it seems to be someone's joke, or someone's worry. 

So, for all you folks who do not live near a bill board of prophecy, I have a prediction of my own. THE END OF THE WORLD IS NEAR! Nearer than it was yesterday anyway. How do you feel about that? Are you ready? Have those you love (and don't love) been told about Christ and his amazing love? 

I don't like that - that man created fear, and made one of the biggest events to come a "joke" to some. I do like it made Christians think and proclaim our faith. If rapture happens when I am here on Earth, I hope the person I am next to goes to heaven too. I hope as I am leaving I don't regret not telling someone about Christ's amazing love. In the end, which we don't know when that is, everyone will have made their own choice. We need to tell whoever will listen how much God loves them. I am thankful for the reminder of why I should tell even if it came in the form of a crazy bill board on I-35.

Check out this video. How messed up is this? The women of  The View weigh in. Still, it is really interesting to listen to their ... view. I am sad that to most it was a joke, and to almost all on the show it seems out of their grasp at this time. I think it is interesting that it merited a segment. Truly, if God can save me, and help me understand, ANYONE can come to know him.

Back from the Wilderness and I have a Word...

Wow! Has it really been that long? My last post was on March the 7th. For the past 10 weeks I have done my best to stay away from the computer, and the radio in my car. No radio is torture for a girl who scored a 10 on the extrovert test! Just me alone in the car... WITH MY THOUGHTS... ME, MYSELF, AND I just thinking and praying EVERYWHERE I went! Very little Facebook, just checking my email a few times a week with minimal surfing the web, and no writing! I was on a quest of sorts. I hate to admit this, but my 40 plus year mid life crisis did not come in the form of a little red sports car (although God, feel free to send the car). No, it came in a more powerful way; for me anyway. I was face to face with the biggest question of all. Who am I?

After all this time guess what, or should I say, guess who I am? GOD'S CHILD... always was. Not only am I God's child but he has me just where he wants me. My "fast" has been great. I needed to hear from God. Frankly I was in that pit. Do you know the one I am talking about? It is that Psalm 40:2 pit that says, "He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." Life has had a lot going on, and God has been so good to answer me. I hope some of what God said to me helps you in your journey.

The largest thing that has changed is my outlook. I teach music at my son's MDO. My boss gave out to each preschool teacher a word that best described them. She gave me the word passionate. She attached the verse Job 8:21 that says, "God will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy." I think she is onto something! I am a party! I get excited about something and as long as I know you love it too, I will climb a mountain in the snow while juggling fire for you. I lost my passion for a while. I have been in a "I've fallen and I can't get up" kind of mood. But these past months God has shown his grace over and over. He reminded me of something. HE TOLD ME to honor others even if you do not feel they are honoring you. Church life has its highs and lows. I felt forgotten. So God led me to 1 Samuel chapter 4.


"...a cave was there, and Saul went in to relieve himself. David and his men were far back in the cave. ⁴ The men said, “This is the day the LORD spoke of when he said^[b] to you, ‘I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.’” Then David crept up unnoticed and cut off a corner of Saul’s robe.
 ⁵ Afterward, David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe. ⁶ He said to his men, “The LORD forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the LORD’s anointed, or lay my hand on him; for he is the anointed of the LORD.” ⁷ With these words David sharply rebuked his men and did not allow them to attack Saul. And Saul left the cave and went his way.
 ⁸ Then David went out of the cave and called out to Saul, “My lord the king!” When Saul looked behind him, David bowed down and prostrated himself with his face to the ground. ⁹ He said to Saul, “Why do you listen when men say, ‘David is bent on harming you’? ¹⁰ This day you have seen with your own eyes how the LORD delivered you into my hands in the cave. Some urged me to kill you, but I spared you; I said, ‘I will not lay my hand on my lord, because he is the LORD’s anointed.’ ¹¹ See, my father, look at this piece of your robe in my hand! I cut off the corner of your robe but did not kill you. See that there is nothing in my hand to indicate that I am guilty of wrongdoing or rebellion. I have not wronged you, but you are hunting me down to take my life. ¹² May the LORD judge between you and me. And may the LORD avenge the wrongs you have done to me, but my hand will not touch you. ¹³ As the old saying goes, ‘From evildoers come evil deeds,’ so my hand will not touch you.
 ¹⁴ “Against whom has the king of Israel come out? Who are you pursuing? A dead dog? A flea? ¹⁵ May the LORD be our judge and decide between us. May he consider my cause and uphold it; may he vindicate me by delivering me from your hand.”
 ¹⁶ When David finished saying this, Saul asked, “Is that your voice, David my son?” And he wept aloud. ¹⁷ “You are more righteous than I,” he said. “You have treated me well, but I have treated you badly. ¹⁸ You have just now told me about the good you did to me; the LORD delivered me into your hands, but you did not kill me. ¹⁹ When a man finds his enemy, does he let him get away unharmed? May the LORD reward you well for the way you treated me today. ²⁰ I know that you will surely be king and that the kingdom of Israel will be established in your hands. ²¹ Now swear to me by the LORD that you will not kill off my descendants or wipe out my name from my father’s family.”"

Honor allows God's goodness to shine through. Honor says, "hurt, you will not reign." I will live a life that honors not because someone does or does not deserve it, but because Christ honored me. Honor frees you because it places the judgment of right and wrong back into the hand of God and allows you to "love your neighbor as yourself."

Maybe you have been hurt by someone you never thought would hurt you, or someone didn't live out what they had promised. Live a life that honors God. This reminder has freed me. It reminded me that I live for the Lord, not man, and the Lord never lets you down. He always walks you beside the still waters.

Your children will thank you. They need a mom they can admire and see smile. You know, that Proverbs 31 woman is always making it tough for the rest of us with her rising early, and her making this or that. Although, I must say that I would love to have a housekeeper or two to buy fine linens for sometime. Read Proverbs 31 today. As you read it see it from the perspective of how she honored those around her. That was her greatest gift to those she loved.


How are you going to honor others today? How are you going to honor even those who have hurt you?

What Matters Most

Do you know what really matters most in your life? If I said, "Quick! Name the top five  things that matter most to you!" What would they be? If you are a Christian perhaps you would most likely start with God (knowing that you are lumping the whole Trinity together). You would probably move onto family, and then perhaps your extended family, then church, and then work. Your list may look a bit different, but usually most of these are in there somewhere.

What if you had to take one away and only had a top four list? What would yours be then? What if something was taken away and it wasn't even in your top five... you thought? That is what I experienced this week. My back went out on Friday. For four pain filled days I have stared at the ceiling in my room. It is a very humbling thing to not have your health. My role as super mom was greatly effected. No longer was I faster than a speeding juice spill, or able to fold tall piles of clothes in a single bound. My mini van was on hiatus. I was hurt. It was my family that had to care for me. My husband and children had to help me with almost everything. It was frustrating. Something that would only take minutes now took a lot more time. I had to ask for simple things. I had to wait or place a value on asking at all. As I laid there I took stock of my mortality, and the gift of health that has eluded me this week.

It was also humbling and touching having friends like Roxanne who taught extra BA KIDZ classes (and Clarinda and John too), or Shawn who shopped for me, or Kathy who picked up my son, or Lori who brought dinner by just because, and the many friends and family that called to pray or touch base.

These past four days I struggled between living in my pain and feeling honored to have such great people in my life. Beth Moore said in a Bible Study that she had gone through a hard time. She said she feared what the outcome might be. Her husband asked what if "such and so" happened. She replied then "this would." Then he asked if "this would" happen and she answered  back then "that would." She says her husband had her strip her problem to its worst possible outcome, and Beth Moore's final answer to her husband was, "then there is God."

Hard times can come when we least expect them, and in some ways we might never imagine. Note what Christ says in John 10:10

¹⁰ The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (NIV)

Please don't loose sight of that word "ONLY." Satin is on a mission that ONLY leads to destruction, He is focused on your demise... period. Christ on the other hand wants you to live life to its FULL. I've said it before, this ain't heaven. Our top five can move and change and be pushed aside by things we take for granted. How can Christ give life to its full when your top five, plus one you didn't even think of are not full but less than? I was less than myself this week. I looked into my older years (if I am allowed them) and I prayed I would never hurt like that again.

So I think my thought for today is that this ain't heaven, but heaven in all of its fullness awaits. No more tears, no more want, and no more pain. We are given a life beyond the boundaries of this lifetime. My prayer is simple. I pray you and I have a life to its full here on earth. But more than that I hope you and I know that you and I will be given a life to its full for eternity. God loves us. I believe he has ultimate good for his children. These pit stops of pain are not our destination. We can proclaim Jesus is Lord.


What matters most to you today? Please take time to thank God for what you have before you, and don't focus on what you don't. You may find the steps toward the fullness God promises are easier when praise and not panic lead the way. You may not have the perfect life you desire. You do however have a perfect God who does. Ask God what are his top five for your life and you will find life to its full is easier to find.


(the following is from WHATAGod.com)
You may be asking, How can I trust God with my Hope?


1. Hebrews 6:18-19 reads, "God has given us both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can take new courage, for we can hold on to his promise with confidence. This confidence is like a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain of heaven into God's inner sanctuary."

2. Hebrews 10:23 reads, "Without wavering, let us hold tightly to the hope we say we have, for God can be trusted to keep his promise."

The Opposite Sex and and Your Husband the Minister

The other day I did the dumbest thing! A while ago, my husband and I had some work done at our home. The man who did the work goes to our church. I told my husband we needed to pay the man. My husband said, "You need to make sure we pay him." It was Saturday, and I knew we would see him at church on Sunday. I didn't want to exchange money at church so I texted him to see if I could stop by, with my son, and pay him later on Sunday afternoon. Here is how the texting (all from me) went down:

Text #1: Hey "friend", I would like to come by late tomorrow and pat you. Would 4ish be a good time? - Deb

Text #2: Oh my gosh! Pay you, not pat you. Ugh!

Text #3: Pay, pay, pay!!!

Text #4: Rumors! :)

Are you laughing? I am too... now! I keep thinking, "What if I hadn't reread my text and discovered the wrong word?" He could have gotten that text and thought crazy stuff about me. I would be chasing him around church trying to get an answer and he would be running away for, what he thought, was his life. Of course I quickly told my husband, and he told me that friend doesn't receive texts... thank you Jesus!

Randy and I have been in ministry for over 20 years. 18 of those years have been as a married couple. I really appreciate Randy. Together we have developed some non-negotiables in our ministry and marriage when it comes to the opposite sex. Here are some things we seek to maintain.

1. He never counsels a woman alone. He always brings in another woman, or he has another woman mentor her. If a lady does come to his office, he makes sure other staff are around. Otherwise, the lady has to come back, or they talk outside and he works to refer her to another woman. He keeps his door open if a woman comes in the room.
2. If a lady is on staff and it is just he and she working, he switches the time he is there with her time. If they have to be there at the same time he leaves all the doors open in the building (except the outside door of course). He also calls me.
3. He never hugs a person from the front. If he does hug them, it is a side hug.
4. We have a filter on our home computer, and we have a pass word that I know.
5. He doesn't eat out with just one person of the opposite sex. I either come along, or he has another person with him.
... all of these apply to me as well.

Our friends used to tease us about Randy's "rigidness" until one day a mutual pastor friend was accused of impropriety. Whether or not it happened, our friend opened himself up to scrutiny because he had not taken steps to protect himself. Mutual friends called Randy and said they understood why he was like that now. People of the opposite sex have to work together. Mama's and Daddy's have to pay bills. You may need to talk about what works best for you in your work environments as well as your personal life. A friend of mine doesn't accept men on her face book page.

Randy doesn't keep these standards because I, his wife, am a raging lune. Randy does this because he chooses to honor me and honor our marriage. In all honesty, he came up with these standards. Because he is like that, I trust him. It gives peace in an area that should promote peace.

I was at a pastor's wives' retreat one time. A very brave woman stood up and shared her husband had not honored her. He had become addicted to porn. He had to step down from his ministry. They were working it out. I hope they did. God is the ultimate physician and can heal all wounds. Another pastor's wife at another time asked me if I thought it was okay that her husband was counseling this woman who was going through a divorce? The pastor's wife asked him to stop, because he was going to the other woman's home a lot, and at all times of the day. It wasn't that it was wrong for the pastor to minister to someone who was hurting. It was where and how he was going about it. Every man and woman are important in the church. Pastors need to find a way to minister to all. At times that means with or through others. The pastor can often be the first contact for anyone hurting, but he doesn't have to be the last. We are a church, a BODY of Christ. His wife had a bad vibe, and he basically said to her that he didn't care and he was going to go to that lady's home anyway. What do you think I said? My answer started with no, and ended with "get another pastor in your church to talk to him." I knew a pastor's wife who ran away with another man. Both people in a relationship need to guard their marriage.

Sometimes other women look at the pastor and think they are HOT!
He is always smiling
Oh so Godly
Trustworthy
These traits put him, for some, at the top of the emotional food chain. By the way, pastor's wives can be perceived as HOT too...
Hold their tounge (never says a mean thing)
Open and helpful
Takes care of others
Hopefully both are HOT, but pastor families are also human. That is why it is so important to have standards in any marriage when interacting with the opposite sex.

Finally, you need standards in your love life. Standards like:
1-I will go on dates my spouse.
2- I will go to 4th base with my spouse, often!
3- We will be brave enough to talk about our needs, and seek to meet them.
4- We will seek to give words that affirm each other.
5- Mainly, we will let God lead the marriage so when 1 through 4 is less than perfect we can seek God for answers and obey his call to love, and serve each other.

There are some great books out there for marriage:
His Needs Her needs
The Five Love Languages
The Song of Solomon (book by Tommy Nelson)
Every  Man's Battle also Every Woman's Battle

Marriage takes effort. Setting standards with the opposite sex makes marriage and ministry so much better. Having God in charge of your marriage brings grace, forgiveness, love, and a desire to honor. Seek a great marriage, and you will find one.


Titus 1:6 "An elder must live a blameless life. He must be faithful to his wife..." (NLT)