2011

43 years in and I am heading toward a new year. Each year seems sweeter than the next. Well, at least it can when you aren't in the middle of a crisis. I am in a bit of a crisis. Actually, I haven't decided if it is a crisis or a "mesis". A "mesis" is different. A crisis is a predicament you feel trapped in by circumstances that are beyond your control. A" mesis" is when you trap yourself in a circumstance and don't allow yourself to get beyond the situation. With 2011 fast approaching I am struggling to make goals that I may or may not succeed in but always have fun reaching for and it is all because of this cri/ me-sis I am in.

Don't get me wrong I want 2011 to be all that God will allow for my life and those I love. In fact, I pray that my main goal is to let God reign in all that He has for my life in 2011 and beyond. But you see, I have been struggling this week. Something I had hoped would happen didn't and it has raised doubts that effect who I am. More importantly it effected where I thought God was leading.Of course you know there is only one thing I can say in such a predicament... thank God for Okies. I'll explain.

It is true that I have lived in Texas for over half of my life, but make no mistake, I am a displaced Okie. I hail from the great state of Oklahoma. My husband and children (aka The Texans) put up with me. My extended family still live in Oklahoma and many great leaders,writers, actors, athletes and let us not forget singers come from (sing it with me) O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A! It was by chance (hmmm) that I felt led to walk into a store I had never visited. Obviously, still in a funk over my whatever-sis I went and  was touched by what I found. It was an embroidery shop filled with every cute whatnot a woman could want. On the walls were little plaques with sayings. One of the sayings was from an Okie named Will Rogers. On the plaque were nine little words. It said, "Don't let yesterday use up too much of today." I needed that quote to remind me of something I already knew.

It reminded me of Paul. He had a lifetime of achievements that may have been squashed if he had lived in his yesterdays. When we read Philippians 3 we see Paul is not looking back. His eyes are focused with ONLY what is ahead. Why? I think God shared something with me a few years ago in my quiet time. When I read those verses in my quiet time that day, I was reminded that people feared him when he was first saved. Now walking with fellow Christians, it is totally plausible that Paul ran into people he hurt or folks who had been effected by what he had done before receiving Christ. On the day I read this I felt the Holy Spirit say, "What would have happened if Paul would have looked back and not ran ahead with me ?" I wonder if Paul would have focused on his past how very different his future would have been? Living in regrets there might not have been a missionary journey ... ever. He might not have spoken with such authority in his letters or stood before the various courts to share Christ.

When I read Philippians 3:13-14 I see those verses differently now. I see that we have to be "all in" with Christ. We don't make life happen, we just run in abandon with the Savior who does. The prize hasn't happened yet. THE PRIZE lies ahead. Mess up or not Christ still chooses you and me. He isn't finished till we see him coming on that cloud. Till then, we run!

Guest what? My whatever-sis still hurts. Guess what else? I have to lay it down. I have have run. 2011 won't wait and I don't want to waste this year because I am only promised one day at a time as it is. I have decided... it is 100% a "mesis".  Because while it is a crisis, I am holding it and not giving it to God.

What do you need to lay down in order to run with God?

Philippians 3:13-14 "Brothers, I do not consider I have made it on my own. But one thing I do; forgetting what lies behind and straining to what lies ahead I press on toward the goal to win the  prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."