What Happened?

I am thinking about making up a t-shirt that says, "I planted tomatoes and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!" Can you believe it? A week ago there were 23 beautiful tomatoes hanging on their stems. I went to bed that night thinking in the morning I was going to pick some. I knew I had a lot of tomatoes, but there are six of us in our family, and I knew we would be able to polish them off and give some away. Sure there had been some start up costs involved (plants, dirt, special growth food), but they were organic and I had been out there twice a day to water and care for them. I knew it was going to be awesome! The cost would be minimal compared to the bounty that was about to come. That is... until "HE" showed up!

So I woke that next morning to see if the beautiful ripe 'yumminess', we call tomatoes, were ready! I opened my back door to let my lab out, and she started going crazy! I knew that could mean only one thing... deer! It was! There in my back yard was a buck so majestic and might I say, looking quite full! After it jumped back over my fence (never go out when a lab is chasing a deer), I ran to my garden. THAT... God's creature... had eaten all but one of my tomatoes! He had left small ones as if he was saying,"I'll see you in a few weeks." To date my family and I have eaten four very expensive tomatoes from the garden (including the buck's reject tomato).

I thought I was being so clever at out smarting the deer. I thought the planing and placement of my little plants were out of the radar of the deer. Instead, I think they were just out there waiting beyond my fence until they could feast. This being summer, the deer sort of remind me of church. Do you ever feel like you plant seeds in people, spend the effort feeding them with time and God's word, and right when you think they are ready to harvest into a bounty of blessings, you watch them jump back over your fence, full of your efforts, never to be seen from again.

I think summer is a notorious time for change. I was at a conference, and I think I have never heard a more funny word picture than Dino Rizzo gave. He said that some people just leave but others leave like they are in some horrible old western bar fight. He said gun fire goes off, and they get up and knock over tables and chairs. They get up, shoots fire again and they keep destroying everything in their path. They finally leave but not before grabbing ten people on their way out. Whether they leave quietly or like some bad B movie production, it still makes me a little sad.

I have to be careful to not become bitter. It is like someone saying I don't like your toys anymore. After 20 years in the ministry, you name it and people have left over "it". Here are some real winners:
Too involved
Not involved enough
Too much Bible Study
Not enough Bible study (aka: "I'm not being fed")
You didn't call (even when I didn't call you to let you know I had a problem)
You are too caring
The music is too loud
we need more and or less video
... and so it goes...

So here are some things that help my spiritual sanity get through the tough times.
The first and foremost thing I always keep in mind is that God is The Shepherd. Yes, we are tending to His sheep, but they are only on a "lease purchase agreement". :) I used to be so hurt when someone left. Now my main prayer is that they find a place to serve. Recently a family I love very much had to leave town. They were very important in my life. I will miss seeing them every week, but I am so excited that God has moved them. Because He has great plans for them. I think they will be great at the next church they serve! I pray God brings them back to this town, but more than anything I pray God uses them to His highest glory.

Sometimes folks leave and it is under... um... they hate your guts! :) Hey loved ones, don't own that. My husband once said about a hateful anonymous letter, "Debbie, do you feel condemned or convicted?" He told me that if I felt convicted (even a little) that was the Holy Spirit. If I felt condemned that was from Satan. There was a man that left our church who was very hateful. Years latter he came back to visit. He apologized for his behavior. He shared that he had a lot of sin in his life at that time and that, after years of running from God, God was changing him. What a prodigal son moment. Many times through face book or letters from former youth, or church members they will write things like, "I'm sorry I didn't support you, or I am sorry for how I acted as a youth." BIG ADVICE MOMENT: If someone writes you a hateful letter, or calls you and says hateful things don't respond! Been there, suffered that... bad idea to respond. Say, "I'm sorry you feel that way. I love you and would never want to hurt you." Apologize if you need to, but don't defend. Seldom harsh words never change what is in a man's heart. But a gentle answer turns away wrath. Sometimes parting with minimal wrath is the best you can hope for; at least for a while. Above all else pray for all who God has given you to lead.

Change can be scary, especially for women. Rarely do we like our nest to be disturbed. Fear can creep up and make more stress in an already stressful situation. Sometimes we look to our husbands to make it better, and they are staring at us to find comfort because they have no idea what is going to happen. Once again please listen to what has taken me a long time to own. Do you know what your nest is? It is that good looking pastor husband staring right back at you. If God chose to end our ministry tomorrow, He would not destroy our nest. My nest is the family God has given me. More specifically my husband. My security is in Christ and the knowledge that He loves us. Recently, a pastor in another state was kicked out of his church. It divided the congregation and left a trail of hurt. I wish I could tell you the next day that man had ten offers to go somewhere else. He did not. It took months for him to wade back into the ministry. What he did have were friends and family gathering around him. Mainly, he had the love of his beautiful wife. Together they are now looking at new ministry options. Together they will move on. Their nest was weathered by the storm, but now it is stronger. They have have some new sticks and have placed them in strategic areas to keep what is truly important strong.

Change is a part of life. We can no more stop it than we can stop the sun to rise and fall. What we do have is a God who can do anything. When we can own that change is a part of life, life becomes so much sweeter.

When you serve this week at church, serve God with your whole heart. Thank Him for who is there and the new guy that came, and ask Him to give you strength to love and lead those who make up the church you are at. Find your joy by knowing you are not in charge. We lead by being led by God. PRAY-PRAY-PRAY and READ-READ-READ God's word. The more you read the more you know who is really in charge. How about you? What do you think about change?

Jeremiah 17:7-8 "But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."